I’d like to tell you about the single most unflattering photo ever taken of a guest at Walt Disney World. And yes, it’s a photo of me.

I was at Disney’s Hollywood Studios a few years back with friends J, Deb and Walt. (For anyone who has read “Mousejunkies,” it’s J, Deb and Walt from the book.) They have no fear of the more thrilling rides at Walt Disney World.

I, on the other hand, am a big chicken.

It’s not that I think I’m going to go flying out of, say, the Tower of Terror and land somewhere near the Boardwalk. It’s just that I’m not a huge fan of being tossed around or being dropped very quickly. But I had been on the Tower of Terror once previously, and I must say that it’s a fantastic attraction. My new attitude was: “This is much too-good of an attraction to miss just because you don’t want to experience the drop.”

The theming is amazing. The special effects are stunning. Everything about it is great.

Except for the part where I think I’m going to die. But we’re not to that part of the story yet, so let’s go back to the “yeah, I’ll go on it with you” part.

When the time came to step up on this particular trip, I felt pretty good about joining my three friends in line. Surprisingly, I was soon to learn that somewhere between that first ride and this one, my temporary confidence had abandoned me. Because when the doors of the elevator opened, I began to feel a tad nervous.

I saw that the lap bars were gone, and now there were seat belts. Not having the lap bar made it feel like I was a lot less bolted to my seat. I immediately grabbed for the “oh crap” handles on either side of me. I felt my hands start to sweat.

According to Walt – and he swears this is true – I started mumbling to myself: “This was a bad idea. I should not have done this. Bad idea. Bad idea.”

I’m not sure I did say that, because it’s all kind of a blur now. But if he says I did, then he’s probably right. He thought it was a riot. Me? Not so much.

Now, the plan was to make funny faces for the in-ride camera when the elevator doors open up and you look out over the park. Despite my nervousness, I was still on board for that. So when the doors swung open and I got a great view of central Florida from my seat far above Sunset Boulevard, Operation Funny Face went right out the window.

I opened my mouth to stick my tongue out, when suddenly our elevator began its frighteningly fast plunge downward.

In a fraction of a second I went from “haha, funny face time” to “BLURGH!!!”

And just as my face began its transformation from “haha” to “oh crap” – the camera flash went off. I saw it. I knew it took my picture. The question was: Did it get happy-face-Bill or girlie-Bill.

Let’s just say that if it captured happy-face-Bill, I probably would not be writing this post. That’s right – it took my picture right between the two emotions. I was sticking my tongue out when I was struck with the knowledge that I was about to die.

The ride ended, I did not die, and we went down to the gift shop to get a look at the photo. I took one look at it, laughed in embarrassment and turned away to leave. I heard Walt, J and Deb laughing hysterically behind me. And rightly so.

“You’re not going to buy that picture?” J asked.

I laughed.

So we continued on with our day. We toured the park, got some dinner and arrived early for our seating at Fantasmic. As we sat among the crowd, Walt leaned over and handed me a plastic Disney gift bag. It was roughly ride-photo-shaped.

For the second time that day, I said, “oh crap.”

They all started laughing as I pulled the ride photo out of the bag and cast my eyes on its absurdity. It was hilarious. Hilariously awful. I couldn’t stop laughing.

And to this day, while it may show me in an incredibly unflattering light, it is one of my favorite Disney photos of all time.

I give you, the single most unflattering photo ever taken of a guest at Walt Disney World:

"HahahaOOOHHHHNOOOOOO!" (That's me in the front row with the white shirt. As if you couldn't tell. Green shirt on the left is J, next to him is Deb, then me, blue shirt is Walt.)

You really can see that I’m gripping the “oh crap” straps with all my might. And look at Deb smiling so happily. I think Walt is laughing at my strange mutterings.

Laugh away, but I love this photo.